How To Shift Wanting Something to Having Something

Do you spend more of your time in a state of wanting, or in a state of having? Havingness was described to me recently as the "ability to occupy the same space with something else". One of the dictionary definitions of the word to 'have' is "to stand in relationship to". And related words in the thesaurus include 'own', 'possess', and 'retain'. For me havingness is a state of being, just as wanting is, and it's an important step in creating what you want in your life. You may be able to manifest what you want, but can you have it or does it slip through your fingers? Can you have all the money you need in your life? Can you have a healthy relationship with someone? Can you have your ideal job? And if not, what are you having instead?

When we're stuck in the state of wanting we often feel less than or deprived in some way, yearning for something better or something else. When we're in a place of having, we either have exactly what we need or we feel content with what we have. Either way, a high level of havingness indicates we can create, receive and allow into our lives, that which we desire. A low level of havingness suggests we have some sort of block to accepting what we can have. Some of you might say "what do you mean, I have lots of things in my life – I have more than my share of stress in my life, I have lots of bills to pay, and most importantly, I am able to continually increase my levels of havingness around credit and debt – I’m reaching almost 6 figures now!"

But that's not the kind of havingness I'm referring to. I'm talking about saying yes to the good stuff in your life and no to the junk. To bringing into your life more of what supports you in being at your best. It might be something concrete like a career, relationship or money, or it may be something intangible like having a new level of balance, ease and joy in your life. Whatever it is, when you realize that no one else is responsible for your life and you have chosen what you currently have and don't have in your life, you can begin to consciously shift your choices by releasing limitations and opening up to new possibilities.

Explore these questions to gain insights:

* Notice how much time and energy you spend in a state of wanting – and remember, what you focus on grows so if you focus on wanting something you’ll just get more wanting!

* What areas of your life do you have exactly what you'd like to have? Congratulate yourself on allowing this into your life. What would you need to do for yourself, or let go of, in order to expand this allowing and having into other areas of your life?

* Are there any patterns emerging in your life – areas where you consistently have what you want and areas you don’t, or times in your life when you have more and times when you have less? What's the common denominator (besides you)?


Try these inspiring ideas to increase your havingness:

* What are the reasons you tell yourself why you can't have what you want? What if these limitations didn't exist, what if you could move beyond them – what underlying limiting beliefs about yourself would you be left with? Choose to let these go by replacing them with supportive beliefs. Re-enforce them in whatever way works for you (writing them on post-it-notes, using affirmations, visualizations and so on).

* Reflect on something important you would like to have in your life, or have more of. Notice what it feels like when you move into a state of 'wanting' it and a focus of not having it. Now imagine that you have this in your life and notice what it feels like to be in a state of 'having'. No matter what the circumstances are in your life, you can create this state of 'havingness' within you. It's a state of ease, certainty and trust. Operating in life from this state will open up a whole new world of possibilities and bring you closer to your goals.

* Think of all the things you do have in your life that you are grateful for. Fill your whole body with the energy of gratitude down to every cell of your body and the spaces between the cells. Stay in this state of gratitude for as long as you can, as with the statement "like attracts like" it will support you in bringing more things into your life to be grateful for.