Your Self Image Is King Of The Castle

A great business plan? - you've got one.
A fabulous marketing plan? - you bet!
Customer service skills? -  second to none!
Computer savvy? -  enough to impress Bill Gates!
 
So why aren't you making tons of money? Why isn’t your business going ahead in leaps and bounds? What’s holding you back?

If you start telling me about your customers or your staff I will pull out a big mirror and thrust it in front of you. And what will you see? 

Let’s start there. William Shakespeare said: "The answer dear Brutus, lies not within our stars but within ourselves." Was he right?

The one thing that can hold you back from huge success more than anything else   is your own self image. The image you see in the mirror.  When you look what do you see?

Do you see a person with sloping shoulders, leaning a little forward with the weight of the years, not much of a smile, and somewhat tired looking, how do you feel when you look at that image? Is that the person you dreamed of being a few years ago?

What you see is your true self image. The image of you that you have created in your own mind. It controls as much of your life as your heart beat does. Your self image is up there with oxygen!

I want to suggest that many of us simply get worn out because we go through life missing the point... When we’re starting out, say to set up a new business, or we run into difficulties along the way, our first response is to look at the event or circumstance and blame that for how things are deteriorating. e.g.. Not making the sales.

That’s missing the point. If Shakespeare was right and the answer does lie within ourselves then the circumstances that we blame are merely a reflection, a manifestation of how we have been thinking these past few, weeks, months, years.

If you believe that idea, then you are taking responsibility, you are empowering yourself to change things. If you want to blame circumstances then little will change. You will continue to do what you’ve always done and you will continue to get the same results.

The first step in real change exists between our ears. Any attempt to change the circumstances of our lives without changing the way we think will bring only exhaustion and disappointment and ultimately failure.

So if our self image is so important where does it come from? Here are the four key sources of self-image:

 1. Our history:  My need to be loved unconditionally as a child. My childhood perceptions. (These are often never updates, even in adulthood.)

2. My self-belief: Everything I do to manage my history and take charge of my life.

3. My Support Network: My ability to attract and maintain healthy, affirming relationships.

4. My Achievements: The things I do to build my ego and a sense of being worthwhile.

Right now I’d like us to focus on Source#2: My self belief. That is, all the things I do to become self-aware and sensibly manage my history ( regardless of how lacking it might have been) and take charge of my life. I become a self-directing person. I’m in the driver’s seat!


So, my self-image that predominantly took shape when I was a child grows up with me. I don’t leave it behind. It’s worth remembering for it’s lessons but don’t let it be your prison. Don’t live today as though it were yesterday.

The best way I know to build your self image is to firstly stop judging yourself. Stop right now, being critical and condemning of yourself. Do the opposite. Just as you would a child. Praise and acknowledge yourself, all the time, every time, day in and day out.

If you decide to do this, do you think your life will remain the same? Don’t make that self-appreciation just a veneer, let it sink in real deep so that it becomes your default way of thinking about yourself. Develop a profound, habitual  self-accepting, non-judgmental attitude toward yourself. Silence the voice of your internal heckler by ignoring it! Ignore it and it will go away.

Now I’d like to offer you ten powerful suggestions for bringing your self-image up to date and becoming more of who you really are. More of your own person.


1. Do something differently every day. Anything at all. Just break a routine and do it a little differently. Sometimes this may mean taking a risk!

2. Resurrect your dream for yourself. Find a picture that captures or symbolises your dream and stick it somewhere prominent so that you’ll see if every day.

3. Write down your goals again clearly. On a card will do and carry the card with you. Get it out and read several times a day for 90 days. Don’t miss a day.

4.  Say ‘thank you’ all the time. To everyone for any little thing.  Express your appreciation for everything.

5. Do one small nurturing thing for yourself every day. It might be that you start reading a book. Maybe going to bed half an hour earlier. Perhaps enjoying a massage.

6.  Un-clutter your living space. Tidy it all up and keep it that way. Give away anything you haven’t touched or looked at in a year. Then go out and buy yourself a smart new piece of clothing!

7. Deal to just one unresolved issue in your life. Give it a deadline and do it. Negotiate an outcome that is pretty close to your ideal result.

8. Make a rock solid decision to walk away from toxic conflict. Let go your competitive tendencies and see every moment as a wonderful opportunity to be creative or find a creative solutions.

9.  Make sure you have the support of just one close friend and ally.  Someone you trust, feel comfortable with and can have fun with. Share your dreams and goals with your buddy.

10. Set out to read one good book a month. Something that encourages you, educates you, inspires you, enthuses you! (Enthusiasm is a sign that you are on the right track.)

If you take on board just one or two of these ideas, there’s no way your life will remain the same! Please don’t be fooled by the simplicity of these suggestions because what you think is what you'll get!

“If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
- Henry Ford Snr.