Parenting Your Teenagers - Generation Gap or Communication Gap?
Parents may experience generation gap as well as communication gap. There is nothing wrong with you nor your children. It is a time where parents and teens are tested. As their hormones come in and yours are leaving, both are tested with the changes in body and mind.
Seek to understand than be understood
Before we get into how to get your teenagers to listen to you, parents might want to know how to connect with your teenagers. First understand what they are going through. Pre-teens are in transition to young adults in search of their identities and finding themselves. Their interests and thinking change as well.
Parents who are aware will begin to find their children talking more to their classmates through MSN Microsoft Network, MySpace, Facebook, spending time to text message through the handphone and the like. Learn how to use these social network to connect with them.
Those gadgets you bought them keep them occupied long enough to get tired and not want to go out with you. Besides, it's not cool for them to be seen with you. It does hurt alright, but it does not mean they don't love you anymore. During this period they connect better with their peers.
Many people talked about the common issue of how to get their children to stop playing computer. The Maple Story and World of Warcraft and the like have been the most common addiction that had many children stuck with playing these digital games. Most of them are bored and they make friends through these games.
They are connecting to their friends through different channels. When their friends show up in your house, welcome them with open arms. This is an opportunity for you to know them better. The worst thing to do is to not welcome your children's friends. They can sense it and soon you will find your children going out more often instead of being at home.
Build Trust and Respect
Invest time and money in building this trust, respect and develop the relationship with your teenagers' friends. Make them feel at home, cook some nice food for them. Get them to also respect your house by getting them to wash up after they finish. Play games with them if you can.
Teeangers Love Language
However busy, find out your children's love language. You may want to read Gary Chapman's "The Five Languages of Teenagers". Stay connected with them. Teens will change whether you like it or not. The things they do will not be what you like. You will see that the shows they watched are different from when they are younger. They will go out with you less for sure.
Fill Your Own Cup
This may be the best time to fill your own cup; Like get a life! Like learning something new. Make new friends, or catch up with old friends. Get tips on new way of parenting. Get connected with the digital world. For a change and stay very focus on understanding your teenagers and let go of being right. Do the things that you have always wanted to do and did not find time to do for yourself. Stay healthy and fit. There are new things to learn. Read up to educate yourself with alternative ways of parenting. Get updated with what is working out there and explore.
What do you really really want in life?
If you are one of those adults whom are experiencing a cross-road. Asking yourself what do you really really want to happen in your life for the next 1, 3 or 5 years can be very useful for your own transition to the next phase. Is it an empty-nest syndrome for you? Or is it about finding meaning in life? Are you looking for purpose in life? Or is it about finding your passion? Are you tired of doing the same thing over and over again, getting bored? Very often when we are experiencing cross-roads ourselves, we could be on a roller coaster ride too. Clarity of your own life direction help you to remain calm and peaceful to sit through these trying times.
copyright 2009
Dolly Yeo
www.mindset-coaching.com
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