Kids behavior problems can be aggravating and destroy the sense of peace and happiness in your home. Kids with serious problems need help, not just for themselves, but also for their parents. In a home where there are behavioral issues, there is constant tension. This affects everyone in the home and can slowly destroy a marriage. In this article, you'll learn how to help your kids and at the same time, help yourself.
What would it be worth to you if you could come home from work and open the door to a peaceful house? You walk inside, your child looks up at you and you smile because you see that he is already doing his homework. Is this a pipe dream? Not at all. You can make this happen by learning a few simple parenting skills. The key to this is learning how behavior modification works.
Behavior modification is a science. It's all about making measurable changes in behavior. These are changes that you can see. Some of them are immediate. Others take more time. It's not your fault if no one taught you how to do this. Unless your parents were psychologists, you probably only know a little bit about the subject.
Don't feel bad if you have to do a little damage control. Let yourself learn what you do not know. Like your kids, you are learning new things every day.
Here are 3 principles that you can apply to kids behavior problems:
1. Be consistent. You hear this all the time. But what does it mean? Hold true to your word. If your child has lost his t.v. privileges because he left dirty dishes in his room, don't back down. Even when he kisses up to you later and wants to watch his favorite t.v. show, hold your ground. This shows your child that you mean business. That the rules apply to everyone.
2. Don't comment on your child's attitude. Attitude is internal. It arises from thoughts and feelings. Children are not mature enough to control their thoughts or disregard their feelings. They just don't have the sklls. So don't say things like, "You'd better change your attitude!" This will just make your child angrier and create more attitude because he can't do what you expect him to. Instead, focus on his actions. Show him how his actions get him into trouble.
3. Kids behavior problems must be tied to real consequences. Parents often rescue their children from consequences. Don't do this. Clearly define the rules. Agree to them with your spouse. Don't play "good cop, bad cop" because this will just destroy your marriage. And then your kid will be in control.
If your child has chronic issues, like backtalk, disrespectful behavior, defiance, failing grades or aggression, you need help. Take action now. You don't need to get a therapist. Instead, do what many parents have done. Get an at-home behavior program that will teach you how to use some simple behavior modification skills. You don't need a degree in psychology to learn this.
Designed to teach parents strategies that they can use at home, these programs can fix kids behavior problems and get your child back on track. This will mean less stress and tension for everyone, a happier, more peaceful home life and a stronger marriage. It also means that your kids will learn that real change is possible. In fact, it makes change a precedent in your home.
You can deal with kids behavior problems at home. Follow the steps in this article, hold your ground, get on the same page with your spouse and if you need help, get it now.
Laura Ramirez is an advocate who helps troubled kids get their lives back on track with an at-home behavioral modification program for kids behavior problems
called Total Transformation
which was developed by a therapist who was once a troubled teen himself.
She is also the award-winning author of the parenting book
, Keepers of the Children: Native American Wisdom and Parenting
which teaches parents how to raise kids to develop their strengths and lead fulfilling, productive lives.
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